30 Days of Truths: 02

Day 02 โ†’ Something you love about yourself.

Well, it’s not hard to find things I love. I love that I’m honest, a good wife, have great hair lol. I think something recent that I love about myself is my generosity. Kind of not-generous if I brag about it, though, huh?

A friend needed some help and we took him in. Nothing more than that. But I’m finding out a bit later that it was a huge deal to him and no one else but us (husband and me and my mom) would help him. I’m happy to help him because he’s like family to us. What I didn’t expect was that some of my family would lash out and tell me I’m wasting my time on this lost soul who is beyond help and too much of a liar to change. *the person who said this claims to love Jesus and constantly told me I was never compassionate enough growing up.

I don’t think I’ve ever shown my love for Jesus more. I love having a guest in my home that I can be a good hostess to, and a good friend to. Why wouldn’t I help someone if I have the means?

I never added hostessing to my list of gifts, but I really think it’s a skill I have developed. I may not donate to charities or tithe as much as I should… but I love myself even more for being there for someone else when they needed it most.

A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.
-Job 6:14


30 Days of Truths: 01

This seemed like a neat idea, so I thought I’d give it a go. 30 days of answering a question about myself. Who doesn’t like to talk about themselves, right?

Day 01 โ†’ Something you hate about yourself.

This blog kind of addresses the major thing I hate about myself: my weight.

Something less obvious I hate about myself would probably be that I’m mean. Sometimes I just hate people so much, I say anything I can to make them feel stupid. I’m almost positive I know where I learned this (my dad). And it’s sick because I know when he does it and it hurts my feelings, yet I can’t seem to stop doing it to others.

I must always prove people wrong… makes me feel better about myself I guess? I’m fat. But guess what, you’re stupid.

I should be nicer and I am working on not letting people’s stupidity bother me to the point of being angry at them.

You can find past 30 days entries here – except today because this is the first one ๐Ÿ™‚

Makin’ Friends Monday

Boot Camp Week 2 started today. I was almost contemplating not going Mon, Wed, Fri like I did last week. Maybe start later in the week instead of right on Monday. That’s clearly a dumb idea. So maybe I’ll go Mon-Wed and use Thurs and Fri as my off days. We’ll see how much I can move tomorrow ๐Ÿ™‚

I always like new friends and new blogs to read, so here’s my little questionnaire for this week. Image is linked if you want to join in, too!

Health and Body Image

1. If you could magically change one thing about your body, what would it be? Besides the obvious “suck all my fat away”, I would definitely want to get rid of my weird skin rash and stretch marks. I feel so hideous with them.

2. What is your best physical feature? My hair. I have beautiful thick dark curly hair. When I’m with my cousins and our massive amount of curls I feel ethnic. I love it. I pray my children don’t get my husbands thin dirty blond hair and they look Italian like me lol

3. Do you weigh yourself daily? Hourly? Weekly? Bi-weekly? Never? Close to never… I haven’t lost weight in so long do to my laziness + thyroid so the number not going down makes me not even want to look.

4. Do you workout regularly? If so, how does if affect you from day to day? Up until last week I wasn’t regular. Now that I am, it really has made me feel better. I feel better about myself (even though I haven’t actually lost weight yet) and I feel better about my day (because I’m starting the day early and accomplishing something).

5. What is the healthiest thing you do for yourself on a regular basis? Probably the huge amounts of water I drink. I only drink water (accept for the occasional diet soda on the weekends.)

6. If you could look like a celebrity, who would you choose to look like? Hmm… I would want to look like Sofia Vergara because she rocks her curves while still being thin. I wouldn’t hate it if I had her accent, too.

7. What do you do to make yourself feel pretty/handsome? I don’t usually feel pretty. I guess when I do my hair and makeup I feel prettier because I know they look good.

8. What are you most attracted to in the opposite sex?
Humor. I looove when guys make me laugh. Also, broad shoulders and slightly veiny arms lol

9. Have you ever avoided situations because you didn’t want people to see your body shape? Oh yea – I avoid pool parties at all costs. I never go to the beach (our WI beach is nasty but it’s still there). I also don’t want to go on vacation to the Caribbean until I’m thinner.

10. How do you feel about your overall appearance? I think overall I’m too large. I have a pretty face and great hair – if not for those I’d probably hate my life. Also, my husband compliments me a lot (I still don’t know why!) and if he thinks I’m pretty it usually helps my overall feeling.

Today’s Cheer: Where my mind goes, my body will follow!

Weak Week is over

First week of Boot Camp: C O M P L E T E !!

As sore as I am, I gotta say: I feel like a rockstar. Today we mixed in a lot of cardio with resistance training and weights. My favorite move was “putting away the groceries” where we bent over a knee and lifted a weight over the opposite shoulder. When I worked with a personal trainer, that was one of the hardest things for me. Not anymore!! Also we did this “wood chop” move where we have a weight above our head and we swing down hard between our legs, like we’re chopping wood. I pretended I was smashing my husband’s face after he forgets to do his minuscule chores, leaving more work for me. It felt good ๐Ÿ˜€ I even got complimented! Ha! If only Coach knew why I was so good at letting my frustration out.

Worst part about today was running. I freakin’ hate it. Glad I quit that 5k crap. Maybe in a few months.

I can’t believe this camp is over in 2 weeks! I should start looking into the next one. The facebook friend who referred me to this camp was right: it IS addicting!! Hopefully since I’m eating healthy, results will come soon…

Which reminds me: writing down what I eat has not been going well… anyone out there have a solution for that?? I don’t know why I hate doing it… Also, anyone use protein shakes?? They were recommended by the camp staff but most have gluten so I didn’t bother looking into it. I hear they help…

PCOS clinic is getting closer! I can’t wait to meet with a nutritionist and really get this diet thing straightened out.

Today’s Cheer: I conquered cardio!!

Blog Hop

Just from clicking around I found some really blogs – you should, too!

Today is a rest day… my legs are KILLING me. But I’m actually *not* dreading tomorrow’s Boot Camp. I can’t wait!! (Unless it’s leg-work again… then I will die)ย  Hopefully work picks up a little today, though- I’m quite bored. Glad there are some new blogs to check out ๐Ÿ˜›

Poppin’ a Squat

As much as I was dreading today, I think Boot Camp went quite well. The thought of getting up “early” is scarier than actually getting up. And the horror that was my first day, wasn’t as terrible today. I feel like there was less cardio and that made it more tolerable.

It was all about legs, and boy do I feel it. I didn’t do every single squat or step rep I was supposed to… and I walked when I should have jogged. Despite that, I’m extremely sore and I will be tomorrow, too.

I don’t think I’ve ever done that many squats and jumps in 1-hr’s time as I did today… WOW. I have a LOT more energy, too! I’m not sure where that came from… I actually feel awake instead of like death. Yay!

I’m considering waking up early everyday. Driving in the dark cool morning is special. I love the morning time. It might be a good time to get in devotionals… If I’m going to be my best self, I want to make sure I’m the best on the inside. It wouldn’t be too hard, I don’t think… maybe get in a light workout on my off-BC days.

This whole showering-at-the-gym thing after BC is quite exhilarating, too. I feel like I’m part of a community there – we’re all in towels, wet from the shower or red-faced from workouts, leisurely getting ready, gossiping (well not me since I have no friends at the gym – I eavesdrop). I think I’m alone so much that just having like-minded ladies around feels good.

AND today I finally got over my fears a bit and put my make-up on while in my underwear & tank top. I’m so weird about being naked at the gym… I want to change that. This was a huge step for me!

Today’s cheer: It’s all about the booty!

Boot Camp – Day 1

Last night I felt like a kid getting ready for the first day of school. I had my bags all packed, my outfit laid out, and my lunch packed in the fridge. Boot camp was promptly at 5:30am today and I didn’t want to be late or forget anything!

I got there early (yay!) and we set up our mats and weights in a parking lot of a park. It was dark – I could see stars. That was probably the coolest part. Most of the time I felt like dying. It was similar to the personal training I’ve had and the “boot camp” classes I’ve taken. I know since it was the first class, though, that we were just going through the movements and learning the correct form. Coach said no two days are the same… we’ll see.

Afterward, I headed to the Bally Fitness near-by to shower. That was where my morning failed.

I forgot shower shoes… duh! I don’t know what I was thinking. So I had to wear my cute sandals that I brought for work because I wasn’t about to wear my sneakers in there! Pretty sure those sandals are ruined… Then as I was dressing, I realized I forgot my tank top that I wear under everything that’s low-cut. So I have to decide, do I wear my sneakers and have my boobs showing all day? Or do I find a store and buy things (sounds good but it’s not because we’re poor at the moment). Target, of course, is closed at 7:30am. So Walgreens it is.

I’m now sporting a men’s medium wife-beater under my pretty ruffly tank and squeaky plastic flip-flips in brown and blue. It’s not hot. But it’s better than the alternative, I think.

I’m now exhausted – emotionally and physically. Idiots at another branch are already making me crabby at work. And I’m hungry and tired. The only thing I can make better is the hunger. I’m about to eat my lovely fruit and yogurt and lowfat chocolate milk breaky.

I hope Wednesday is better.